I wanted to share something with you that is becoming very dear to my heart. When I first started this blog journey I was scared. I'd never done anything like this at ALL!
I have always loved art, but, for some reason didn't give myself permission to carry it forward into adulthood. I was tagged early in life by people that should have known better, people I should have been able to trust not to wound. But as life has it, it doesn't always turn out that way. Those labels caused me to become a fearful and untrusting person in many ways. I was Little Much Afraid. But... there was something else inside of me too. A deep desire to push up and out of the skin that everyone else tired to convince me was mine. Like a seedling, the will to grow was always there. It started with a garden; something I had always wanted to have. Words had held me back to long, it was time to sow seeds in a healthier ground.
With each step, like the little engine, I realized I could. Amazing! My garden began to take root, and by the second season, I was talking seeds, soil, and worm juice with the best of them (she smiles). The garden became a place of sanctuary for me as well; where God began to heal my heart and help me with understanding. Like an onion, the layers of a wounded heart began to peel back, and a new awareness of the possibilities stood before me. The garden flourished, I was learning, creating -- hmm, creating; I hadn't thought of it like that. Color, form, textures, placement - hardy, tender. Transformation with each new season.
One afternoon as I was surveying my piece of heaven, I realized there was a balance in the garden. Without realizing it, I had learned to create balance. Then it dawned on me (I'm a slow learner), this was an art form! My heart rejoiced. This was art on a garden path. It would be years before I would pick up a pencil, ink pen, and brush again, but it was the beginning of possibilities. In God's own time he reached within my heart, took my hand and lead me up the mountain again. Yes, sorrow and pain have been my companion. God told us this world would have it's troubles, but this is what I know beloved - joy comes in the morning.
Several years ago the desire to include writing with my card crafting evolved into an even deeper desire to include word and art journaling. I have much to learn, just like gardening. But with one foot in front of the other, I shall learn and explore. I believe it's time to peel back more of the onion, and with God's help I intend to try.
This past weekend I created my first Zentangle card. I drew hands in the position of praise, cut them out, and used them as a mask. I sponged around them with Ranger Distress Ink (Dandelion) and then stamped around my image and sentiment with a small background splatter stamp created by Dina Kowal for Impression Obbessions in both Dandelion and Milled Lavender ink by Ranger. I created my Zentangle design within the negative white space after pulling off the mask. To give more depth, I used some Prismacolor pencil in and around my hands of praise.
I am so grateful to the one who loves me and did not leave nor forsake me - who knows my past, present, and future. I'm thankful for the possibilities.
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8 NLT